januari 10, 2016

I’ve been dating this guy lately. Me and him both lost our mother, and I’m dealing with it quite well. I’m still doing my activities (even more than before) and I experience happy moments (maybe also more than before). But he, he is so different. He smokes weed all the time, he drinks, smokes cigarettes and is gaming all day. The only time he gets out of his house is to go to work (dishwashing) or to get some groceries. Now see, my friends think I shouldn’t date this guys, he forgets about our dates and has not a good impact on me, but I can’t seem to let this guy be alone.

I’m listening to Coldplay – O, and that song always makes me emotional, so maybe it is because of that, maybe it is because I really feel sorry for this guy, but I suddenly got a feeling that gave me goosebumps. I realized how lonely he must be, he told me that he is before. But I don’t feel like I’m the person he should spent his entire life with. I’m so different than he is, and he is so different than I am. But it does not mean that I don’t like him, I do, he is inspiring in his own way. We get along really well, and I have absolutely nothing against him. But in how we are so different, I can’t picture it together. It doesn’t fit. I don’t know if that is a matter of time or not, but we just really like each other in different ways. I can only hope that he feels like that as well, and I hope he will find someone else to spent his life time with soon. I imagined that whenever I was feeling alone, I had the satisfying thought that I could always go back to my mother, but I just realized that isn’t true anymore. I lost my mother and I will never get her back, I hate the situation for it. Coldplay is still on repeat. That at least makes me feel like home. I want everything to be like that.

Anyways, I had to get this of my chest

Ending with hurts like heaven


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